When Someone You Love Wants to be a Franciscan

Most people in the Church and society choose marriage as the life-choice by which they live out their vocation to holiness. Since discerning marriage is much more common in our culture and Church, within a family, among friends and between classmates and coworkers, someone discerning marriage readily knows people who can understand easily the experience of meeting someone, falling in love, discovering committed love, and marrying. Parents can draw from their own experience in understanding what their son is going through in being engaged, getting married, saving for a house, having children, and balancing family life with a career. Much fewer people in the Church and society choose religious life and ministry in the Church as the way to live the vocation to holiness. As a result someone thinking about a vocation to life as a Franciscan priest or brother often may feel alone in what they are experiencing.

A man thinking about life as a Franciscan Friar needs the help of his parents, siblings and friends. First and foremost, family and friends need to create an environment where a young man discerning a religious vocation can talk about what makes him feel drawn to Franciscan life, why he is thinking of this life choice, and how he can pursue his vocation. He needs to know from the outset that his parents, siblings and friends support him. Family members may not understand what the Franciscans are all about, but they can learn. Just as a son may be learning more about the lives of Franciscan Friars, so too can parents. Take your son to a vocation discernment retreat. Meet some Franciscans and ask about their life. Read a biography of St. Francis of Assisi. You are obviously visiting our web-site, so check it out regularly.

Sometimes parents are worried about “losing” a son or daughter when they enter religious life. Usually the opposite is true. When a man makes his vows as a Friar he becomes a member of this brotherhood. He never stops being a part of his family nor does his family ever stop from being a part of him. The Friar’s family is also a part of who we are as a brotherhood. The Friars are always grateful to families who share the gift of their son and brother with our Order and the life of the Church.

Finally, parents, siblings and friends can help the young person discerning a vocation by praying for and with him, as well as praying for and with the Friars. God’s will for one of us is God’s will for all of us. A young man joins the brotherhood because he and the community believe this is what God wants of him. Family and friends need to want this for him as well. Parents usually want the best for their children. If God is calling your son to be a Franciscan, then this is what is best for him.